Nationalist – a man who strongly suspects that his mother, and the mothers of other men who bear a close resemblance to him, spent a night of passion with a goat, possibly the same goat, and that by meeting a man who looks different his suspicions will be confirmed.
Narcissist – a close friend who invites you to enter your onions in a contest he has organised, which he later calls a flower show, and who displays your onions beside his roses.
Pagan – a worshiper of a God he doesn’t know doesn’t exist, as opposed to a Christian, who worships a God everyone knows exists but who some choose wilfully to disbelieve.
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